


Orphaned Once More

by mulderette



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 06:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10656699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mulderette/pseuds/mulderette
Summary: After Garrison's sudden passing, Deeks is the only one there for Callen when the rest of the team is away.





	1. Chapter 1

"Garrison, I'm leaving," Callen called out as he drank down the rest of his coffee and put the mug into the sink, filling it with water. "I'll see you later."

There was no answer which was weird. The man was always up with the birds. He hadn't slept in late one day since he had been staying with Callen. Garrison had been alternately staying with him and Alex, and although Callen wouldn't exactly call them close, they were coexisting amicably, which was the most he could expect at this point. They still had a long way to go regarding their relationship, but at least they were making small inroads.

Callen was about to leave, figuring he would just allow the man to sleep, but he had a funny feeling in his stomach and he stopped outside the door of Garrison's room. "Garrison? I'm leaving," he called out again, knocking on the door. Still no answer. Now he was definitely uneasy. "Is everything okay?" He stood outside the door for a few long moments before taking a deep breath then slowly exhaling. A cold feeling of dread was coming over him as he started to comprehend that everything was not okay. His hand trembling slightly, he turned the doorknob and hesitantly entered the room. The blinds were down and the room dark which only served to lend credence to Callen's feeling of foreboding.

"Garrison?" he said as he slowly approached the bed. But he knew before he reached him that he was gone. "Dad?" There was a tremor in his voice as he uttered the word which he never said and felt for a pulse which wasn't there. Garrison was cold and lifeless. He had obviously been dead for several hours. Callen's eyes filled with tears as he dropped to his knees beside the bed and buried his head into the mattress beside the body of his father.

xxxxx

Deeks looked at the time on his cell phone for what was probably the tenth time in the past 20 minutes. It was almost 9:40 and Callen had still not arrived at work. He was trying hard not to worry, but he had a gnawing feeling in his gut that something was wrong. With Sam being on vacation and Hetty and Kensi attending a women's conference in D.C., Callen had been the picture of punctuality, arriving at work early over the past few days. Deeks had expected this trend to continue. Finally, he picked up the phone and dialed Callen's number. The phone rang four times and then went to voicemail. "Hey Callen…it's me. Not meaning to be a nag or anything but I'm just checking in on you, making sure you're okay, because you know, that's what partners do and I know we're only temporary partners, but I still worry. Give me a call…"

He clicked off the phone and then decided to call Eric. "Hey Eric, can you do me a favor? Can you trace Callen's phone and find out where he is?"

"He's not in yet?" Eric asked.

Deeks sighed as he rolled his eyes. "No he's not in. I wouldn't be asking you to trace his phone if he was."

Deeks listened to the sound of Eric typing on his keyboard. "Uh, Deeks. Looks like he's at home," Eric said. "Or maybe just his phone is there."

Deeks shook his head. That wasn't good. Whether Callen was still home and not answering his phone or had left without it, both possibilities seemed ominous to him. "I'm going to his house to check on him," Deeks said as he got up and grabbed his car keys. "I'll talk to you later."

xxxxx

Deeks pulled up in front of Callen's house and saw his vehicle still parked out front. So that meant he was still there. He refused to even consider other more sinister possibilities. "He's fine. Everything's fine," Deeks told himself as he got out of the car and started heading up the walkway. Why was this happening when he and Callen were alone? Sam ought to be the one checking on his partner. He reached the door and rang the doorbell, shifting his weight from one foot to the other nervously as he waited, but Callen didn't come. "Hey Callen! You in there?!" Deeks shouted, pounding on the door. "Dammit." He shook his head and proceeded to pick the lock.

Deeks opened Callen's front door and poked his head inside. "Callen? Are you here?" he called out as he entered the house. He could feel his heart beating a mile a minute as he glanced into Callen's bedroom and saw that it was empty. "Clear," he said to himself. He could see the other bedroom door was partly ajar and he found himself reluctant to approach it, somehow sensing the answer to the puzzle would lie within the darkened room. He swallowed hard and walked towards it. When he reached the entranceway, he was immediately able to put two and two together when he saw Callen slumped by the body of his father. "Oh damn…" he whispered to himself.

"Hey Callen," Deeks said softly as he walked towards his team leader. Callen didn't respond to his voice, however. When Deeks reached him, he knelt down beside him and gently put his arm around his back, resting his hand on Callen's shoulder. "Callen?"

Deeks' touch finally registered and Callen lifted up his head and looked at the other man in confusion. "Deeks?" he said. "Wh…what are you doing here?"

"You were late for work…I was concerned about you."

Callen turned towards his father and then back towards Deeks, his eyes filled with emotion. "I…I found my dad…" he began to explain. "He…he…" Callen lowered his head, unable to continue.

"I'm sorry, Callen," Deeks said softly, patting his shoulder. "I'm really, really sorry."

"I don't know how this happened," Callen said, shaking his head. "It…it wasn't supposed to happen like this. He…we were supposed to have more time, Deeks." Callen took a deep breath, trying very hard to keep himself together. "Why did it have to happen like this? Why did I finally find my father only to lose him again? We never even…we didn't…" He stopped, unable to continue.

Deeks shook his head sadly, feeling heartbroken on behalf of the other man. "I don't know," Callen," he said quietly. "I wish I did." He hesitated for a bit and then went on. "Callen…I'm going to call 911, okay? And then I'll call Sam and Hetty."

"No!" Callen's eyes grew cold as he set his jaw. "Not Sam and not Hetty. I don't want you calling them. And before you ask, don't tell Kensi either. If you tell her, she's just going to tell Hetty."

"What? Come on, Callen. You know they would want to know this. I need to tell them."

"I said no, Deeks." Callen got to his feet and looked down at his father sadly. "Hetty is speaking at the conference today. I'm not going to spoil that for her or for Kensi. Sam and his family have been looking forward to their vacation for a long time and I'm not causing them to cut it short either."

"They won't be happy," Deeks protested. "Sam…"

"Don't tell me about my partner," Callen said. In his heart, he knew Deeks was right, that Sam would be at his side in an instant, but he refused to be an object of pity, causing Sam and his family's Hawaiian holiday to be ruined. "Please do this for me, Deeks. It's my…it's my father. Please honor my wishes on this?" He gave Deeks a pleading look.

Deeks sighed, at first shaking his head, but finally he nodded. "Fine, Callen…I'll keep quiet for now." In any case, Kensi and Hetty were due back the following afternoon. He softened his voice as he looked at his grief-stricken friend. "I'm going to call 911 now. I'll give you some privacy."

Callen nodded, not saying anything as Deeks left the room and quietly closed the door behind him. He then made the necessary phone call and then paced around Callen's home. Callen had finally found his father, after all these years, and had barely had any time with him. It really wasn't fair. He couldn't help but think whoever ran the universe had an unbelievable cruel streak.

It wasn't too long before the ambulance arrived and Garrison was officially pronounced dead. Callen now appeared to be in perfect control, his face calm and lacking emotion. "I need to tell Alex," he informed Deeks after Garrison had been transferred into the ambulance for transport to the funeral home. "Why don't I meet you back at the office in a bit?"

"What? The office?" Deeks asked as he shook his head. "Callen, you can't go into the office. Come on…you need to take some time to process this."

"I have processed it, Deeks," Callen said. "Garrison is dead. There's nothing I can do about it. It is what it is…"

"You really should call Sam." Deeks couldn't stop himself from trying again.

Callen nibbled on his lower lip as he appeared to consider Deeks' request, but he finally shook his head. "Do you know how long they've been planning this vacation for, Deeks?" he asked softly. "A long time…Sam was really excited about it and I know Michelle was too…so were the kids…" He faced Deeks, appearing totally lost. "How can you ask me to take that away from them?"

"I still say Sam would want to know."

Callen nodded. "He's my best friend…and I know you're right, but I want to be a good friend to him also. I want to do what's best for him…and for his family. I owe him that. Garrison's gone…there's nothing they can do to change that, but I can make sure their vacation isn't ruined. Now please…go back to the office. I'll be there after I talk to Alex…"

Deeks sighed heavily. He didn't like the way this was going one bit, but he also could see Callen wasn't about to change his mind, so for now, he would do what he asked. "Take care of yourself, Callen," he said, squeezing the other man's shoulder supportively.

"Oh, Deeks?" Callen called out before Deeks reached the door.

"Yeah?" Deeks said, turning around.

"Don't tell Eric or Nell either…"

"Come on, Callen," Deeks said with a shake of his head. "This isn't right. You need to tell people. You can't do this on your own."

"Please?"

Deeks contemplated his friend, not wanting to give in to him, but finding himself doing it just the same. "Fine, Callen. I won't say anything."

"Thank you, Deeks. For everything," Callen said, his eyes full of emotion once again as he nodded gratefully.


	2. Chapter 2

Once he was back in the office, Deeks tried hard to work, but was having a very hard time doing so. He kept thinking about Callen and the fact that the rest of the team ought to know what had happened to his father. Finally, at a little past noon, Callen came strolling in.

"Brought you lunch," Callen said to Deeks, putting a bag on his desk. "Stopped by _Warren's Place_. I know you like it there."

"Thanks…" Deeks stared at the other man who looked calm and cool and well, normal. He didn't appear to have any more food though. "Where's your lunch?"

"Already ate it," Callen said.

Deeks knew that was a load of bull but he decided not to call him on it. "How did Alex take the news?" he asked.

"She took it pretty well considering," Callen said. "We're going to meet at the funeral home tomorrow at 1. I'll just go on my lunch hour. I may be a little late getting back, but I'll try not to be."

"Callen…You do get bereavement days. You know that, right? You don't have to be here. Please, just tell Hetty what's happened and go home."

"I told you Deeks, I'm not going home," Callen said, his tone leaving no room for discussion. "Now I think we ought to go over the Bankroft case. I found some discrepancies last night that we should discuss."

"Yeah, sure…whatever you say," Deeks said, discouraged. His discouragement turned around quickly though when his cell phone rang and he saw Kensi's name on the display. "Hey baby," he said, as he clicked on the phone "How are you doing?"

"Oh Deeks, we're having a wonderful time," Kensi said. "Hetty gave her speech and it was amazing. She knows everyone here. I've met all kinds of interesting people."

"That's good. I'm glad you're having fun," Deeks said. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Callen watching him like he was a specimen under a microscope. He felt like screaming that he wasn't going to say anything.

"So how's everything going there?" Kensi asked. "You guys playing nicely together?"

"Sure…everything's fine," Deeks said with what he thought was a noticeable lack of enthusiasm. Kensi didn't notice though.

"Well, I just wanted to check in with you quickly. We're going out to lunch with a couple of Hetty's friends. They're really intelligent and funny women. I'm so glad Hetty invited me to come along."

"Okay, Kens…you have a good time," Deeks said. "Love you. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I love you too, Deeks. Miss you. Talk to you later."

Deeks clicked off the phone and faced Callen. "I wasn't going to say anything. You don't have to give me Hetty's gorgon stare. I'm not afraid of it anyway."

"I wasn't," Callen protested. "I just…I'm sorry." He bowed his head contritely.

Deeks immediately felt bad. Shit. The guy had just lost his dad a couple of hours ago. "Don't be sorry, Callen. Come on, let's get back to hashing out this case, okay?

Callen nodded. "Yeah, okay."

xxxxx

The rest of the day passed relatively smoothly. There were a few times that Deeks saw Callen obviously trying to keep his emotions under control and he wished like hell he knew what he could do for him. It was now after six and Callen didn't seem in any hurry to leave. "You planning on working all night?" Deeks finally asked him. Eric and Nell were long gone and they weren't working on anything particularly time sensitive.

Callen looked at Deeks, appearing a bit dazed as he realized the time. "I'm sorry, Deeks. You can leave. I didn't mean for you to be here this late. You should have said something sooner."

"There's no reason for you to be here this late either," Deeks said quietly.

"Yeah, there is. I…I have some paperwork that can't wait and…" Callen shuffled through some of the sheets of paper on his desk, making a show of spreading them around. "Just some other stuff here…It's pretty important."

"Anything I can help you with?" Deeks asked.

"Uh…no, not really. This isn't anything you would really be able to do," Callen said. He watched as Deeks looked back at him and he knew he wasn't fooling the younger man for a second. "I just…I'm not ready to go home, Deeks…" He couldn't do it. He couldn't bear the thought of walking into that house right now and sleeping where his father had just died while he had been obliviously asleep. It made him feel like a child, but he just couldn't do it. After Deeks left, he would stretch out on the familiar sofa here and listen to the sounds of the night crew. It would help him feel just a little bit better to know he wasn't alone.

Deeks shook his head. "Come on, Callen. We're leaving."

Callen couldn't help smirking. "Sorry, Deeks. I'm not going anywhere, but like I said, you should go."

Deeks shut down his laptop and folded it up then put it into his laptop bag. He then stood up and looked over at Callen who remained sitting, seemingly lost in another world. "Callen? Come on," he said, beckoning him with his hand.

Callen looked over at Deeks and shook his head. "I told you…I have things I need to do."

"We both know that's bullshit…" Deeks decided to play his trump card. "I **_will_** call Sam if I have to."

"What? No!" Callen met Deeks' gaze in obvious dismay. "You said you wouldn't, Deeks. You can't call Sam."

"A man has a prerogative to change his mind," Deeks said with a shrug as he intensified his gaze. The look on Callen's face was making him feel like some kind of monster, but this was for his own good so he didn't waver. "I'm not letting you spend the night here. Sam would clobber me if he knew I did that…not to mention, I'd have to clobber myself first. Leave your car here. You're coming home with me."

Callen tried to think of an excuse that made sense, but he was beginning to tire and the defensive wall he had been struggling to uphold all day was beginning to crumble. "Alright, fine," he said softly. He saved the work he had up on his laptop and gathered the papers on his desk into a neat pile, putting them aside. He then turned off his laptop and packed it up then wearily got to his feet. "I'm ready."

Deeks nodded. "Okay, let's go."

Callen followed Deeks out to his car and slumped wearily in the passenger seat of his vehicle. He was trying very hard to turn his mind off, but it wasn't happening. Thoughts he couldn't seem to block out were flying quickly and furiously through his mind. "You really don't have to do this," he said after Deeks started up the car and pulled out of his parking spot.

"I know I don't have to do it. I want to do it, Callen." They drove in silence for a short time and then Deeks glanced at Callen who appeared lost in thought as he stared at the road ahead of them. "You hungry?" he asked. "You feel like getting some dinner?"

Callen shook his head. "I'm not all that hungry, Deeks." He couldn't help but think back to the previous night. He had left work and had arrived home to the aroma of homemade beef stroganoff. Garrison had taken to cooking for them, not all the time, but often enough that Callen had adjusted to it and found that he actually enjoyed sharing meals with Garrison. Beef stroganoff was Callen's favorite dish that Garrison made and as such, his father had taken to preparing it somewhat regularly. The previous night's meal had been good…very good. He just wished he had known it would be their final meal together. He could feel the tears beginning to well up again and he clenched his fists tightly as he fought to control his emotions once again. It was then that he realized they had stopped moving and he saw they had stopped at In-N-Out." He shook his head. "Deeks."

"I'm hungry, Callen, okay?" Deeks said. "You don't have to get anything…not unless you want to…" He drummed his hands on the steering wheel. "I'm just trying to figure out what I want to get…"

"Is it really that difficult a choice?" Callen asked, knowing Deeks was playing him. "They have burgers and fries."

"Of all different sizes with many different toppings for all kinds of taste combinations. Do I want the special sauce or don't I? Double-double or just a single? Also, there's a matter of milkshakes. Should I or shouldn't I? And if I decide to, do I want chocolate or vanilla? Or maybe even strawberry…"

Callen rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Fine, Deeks. I'll get something. Can we just go through the drive-through already, please?"

"Sure Callen, whatever you want," Deeks said. He wasn't particularly proud of what he was doing but he knew that if Sam was there, he would be taking care of his partner and Deeks was determined to do that as well, the best way he could. Deeks placed the order and after picking up the food at the window he headed home. They got there quickly and entered the living room where Callen practically collapsed onto the sofa. Deeks put the food down on the coffee table and sat down next to his friend then passed him his burger and fries and the chocolate shake, which Callen hadn't asked for, but which Deeks had gotten him anyway.

Callen took a small bite of the burger and leaned back with a sigh as he chewed it and forced himself to swallow. He still couldn't believe the events of the day. He so badly wanted to awaken and discover that it was all just a horrible dream, that Garrison was still alive and that he still had a chance to fix his relationship with his father.

"Callen?" Deeks asked softly. "Are you okay?"

Callen choked back tears and nodded. The feelings inside of him were engaged in a tremendous battle. On one hand, he wanted to be alone so he could just let go of the emotions bubbling up inside him, but on the other hand, he was thankful that Deeks had practically dragged him out of the office and that he didn't have to be alone.

He took another bite of the burger and then a sip of the shake which he found to be almost soothing and definitely more appealing than the food. Eventually, he put the food aside and just slowly sipped on the shake.

"I get that you don't want to talk," Deeks said. "But sometimes it can help…you might be surprised."

Callen looked at Deeks and was about to assure the younger man that he definitely didn't want to talk about it, when his cell phone buzzed. With a sigh, Callen pulled the phone out of his pocket and saw his partner's name on the caller ID. "Sam…" he said softly. He didn't want to talk to him, but he was afraid if he didn't answer that Sam would worry or get suspicious. He didn't want to cause Sam any anxiety. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves and pressed the button to answer the call. "Hey Sam," he said, with perhaps an overabundance of cheer in his voice. He immediately toned it down. "How's Hawaii?"

"G, when they call this place paradise, they do not lie," Sam enthused. "It's amazing here. Aiden is down on the beach with some friends he met at the resort and Michelle and Kam are getting dressed up. We're going out for a fancy dinner and a luau this evening. Hetty actually surprised us with tickets. They were waiting for us at the front desk. First class all the way."

Callen swallowed hard and swiped the back of his hand across his eyes. One part of him desperately wanted to tell Sam about his dad, but the other part knew that he couldn't and that he would never forgive himself if he ruined Sam's family vacation. "That was nice of her. It sounds great, Sam…"

"How are things with you, G?" Sam asked. "You miss me?"

"Good…you know, kind of boring…and I always miss you when you're away." Usually he would have just given Sam some flip remark denying missing him, but he didn't have the heart for it today.

"Well, boring is good as far as I'm concerned," Sam said. "I don't want anything happening to my partner when I'm not there to take care of him."

"No worries with that," Callen said with a hollow laugh. "Deeks is taking care of me just fine." He knew that Sam was just kidding, but he also knew the underlying sentiment was sincere.

"That's good to hear, good to hear," Sam said, laughing. "Hetty and Kensi still due back tomorrow?"

Callen nodded even though Sam couldn't see him. "Yeah…they'll be back tomorrow…"

"Okay, well I just wanted to check in with you. Take care of yourself, buddy. I'll see you in three days."

"Send me a picture when you have a chance," Callen said. "I'd like to see a little piece of paradise."

"Will do. Aloha, G. See you soon."

"Bye, Sam." Callen clicked off his phone and turned his head to see Deeks looking at him contemplatively. "What?" he asked.

"You wanted to tell him," Deeks commented.

Callen shrugged. "So what if I did. I didn't do it though."

"Yeah, I know that Callen, but what I don't get is why."

Callen sighed heavily. "I know your childhood wasn't sunshine and lollipops either, Deeks. So tell me, how many family vacations did you have?"

Deeks scoffed. "You're kidding, right?"

"And you know I didn't either, but I knew kids who did. Kids who came back from their weekends at the seashore or trips to Disneyland, happy and excited, bragging about what they'd done. I envied those kids, Deeks and I won't be the one to take a trip away from Sam's kids. Especially after I just heard his voice and I know what a great time they're having. I'm not going to do that, Deeks and you're not going to either."

Deeks ignored the almost threatening tone in Callen's voice. "You're right, Callen. I would never do that, unless you gave me reason to believe it was absolutely necessary."

Callen took back his formerly abandoned burger and ate a bite of it. "I'm not giving you any reason to do that, Deeks. I'll eat. I'll sleep. I'll do everything I'm supposed to do, alright?"

"Callen, calm down, okay? We're good. And I know that food is cold by now. Either heat it up or just trash it." If Callen wasn't going to eat, it really wasn't all that big a deal. Deeks knew he wasn't in danger of starving. Besides, Kensi would be back the following day and with her came Hetty. Then the cat would be let out of the bag to at least a few more people. "The Clippers are playing. You want to watch the game?" he asked, reaching for the remote control.

Callen nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good," he said. Hopefully, he would be able to distract himself at least a little bit from the events of the day. He managed to focus his attention at least partly on the game and he and Deeks made small talk as they watched. At the half, Deeks brought in a bowl of chips from the kitchen which Callen absently munched on, as he had never reheated or eaten the food from In-N-Out.

At the game's conclusion, Deeks stood up and stretched. "I'm going to head up to bed, I guess," he said, looking down at Callen. "Anything you need before I do?"

Callen shook his head. "No…I guess I'm going to try to get some sleep as well."

Deeks nodded, hoping Callen would be able to get some shuteye. It was likely the best thing for him. "There are clean sheets on the bed in the guest room and plenty of food in the fridge if you happen to get hungry. Also…you know where I am if you want to talk or you need me for anything. Seriously, Callen, just wake me up. I won't mind."

"Thanks Deeks," Callen said, giving the younger man a trace of a smile. "I think I'm good, but I appreciate the offer…I appreciate everything you did for me today."

"Not a problem," Deeks said. "Remember what I said. Good night."

"Good night, Deeks." Callen sat in the living room for a short while longer and then headed upstairs as well.

xxxxx

Callen couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned and tried to get his mind off his father, but found it impossible to do so. Finally, he just buried his head in his pillow and quietly sobbed. He cried for his father and his lost sister and mother, cried for his own loss and for Alex's. Alex and her son were the only family he had left. He just wished he could have had more time with his father to have figured things out. He still had so much he wanted to know and now he would never get the answers to his questions. Finally he cried himself out and just laid there, wishing things were different.

The volume on his phone was muted, but the sudden light that flashed told him he had received a text. He reached over to the nightstand beside the bed and retrieved his phone, smiling to himself when he saw Sam's name. There were actually three separate texts with images to be downloaded. The first was a typical posed picture of Aiden with his arm around Kamran. The next one was a picture of Kamran frolicking happily in the beautiful deep blue water. The third and final picture, Callen knew had been taken just that night. It was a picture of Sam and his family at the luau. Michelle and Kamran were wearing brightly colored Hawaiian dresses while Aiden and Sam had on Hawaiian shirts. The whole family had leis draped around their necks and they were all grinning, looking incredibly happy. The third picture especially, told Callen, without a shadow of a doubt, that he had made the right decision in not telling Sam about his father. He looked at that picture for a long time then smiled at the first and only bright spot of what had been a truly horrendous day. Then finally, he was able to drop off to sleep.


End file.
